Unexpected Item: My Name

Hi Carol, nice to meet you.

I was going through self-checkout at the grocery store when the computer wouldn’t stop talking.

“Unexpected item in the bagging area.”

“Please remove the item.”

“Please wait for assistance.”

Over and over.

I looked at the employee overseeing self-checkout and said,

“This computer will not quit talking. Can you turn it off?”

She laughed and said yes.

Then she added,

“Another customer and I were joking about that voice the other day. We decided to name it…”

She paused, trying to remember.

“…Carol.”

“Carol?” I said.

“Yes,” she replied.

I looked at her and asked,

“What are the statistical odds that, out of all the names you could have chosen, you’d tell that story to someone actually named Carol?”

The look on her face shifted instantly.

Absolutely mortified.

I started laughing.

“It’s okay. Really,” I said.

She said,

“We can call it Karen instead.”

For a moment, I thought about all my friends named Karen.

“No,” I said.

“The name Karen has been ruined. We can’t use that anymore.”

“You can stick with Carol. Karen needs a break.”

 The computer has to share a name with someone.

It might as well be me.

At least now, when it won’t stop talking,

I can honestly say,

“Yes. That does sound like a Carol.”