An Awkward Medical History: Explaining Adoption in a Hospital Room

A hospital intake form, an honest answer, and the moment my five-year-old learned—publicly—that he was adopted.

When my son was five, he was admitted to Primary Children’s with pneumonia. A resident came in to take a family and pregnancy history and asked all the standard questions.

“Were there any drugs or alcohol used during the pregnancy?”

“Yes,” I said honestly. “Quite a bit of alcohol. And possibly drugs.”

“What kind of drugs?” he asked.

“I’m not entirely sure,” I said. “I know marijuana. I don’t know what else.”

He looked increasingly confused.

“Is he adopted?” he asked.

“Yes,” I said.

Then he asked, quietly, “Does he know?”

My son was sitting on my lap.

“Well,” I said, “if he didn’t before, I think he does now.”

I thought it was hilarious.

The resident… did not.

Adoption comes with a lot of beautiful moments, a lot of complicated ones—and every so often, a story that still makes me laugh.